Tip From the Hip: Coffee Diary

I saw this on the door of guy's office at UofT.

COFFEE DIARY...

#CUPS) MENTAL PROFILE
1) Decide to put off suicide until next day, go to bathroom instead.
3) Feel enthusiastic about everything, begin to annoy friends.
6) Begin pacing, desire more coffee.
8) First symptoms of dementia appear, go back to bathroom.
11) Can't sit still. Friends openly hostile.
15) Peace. Happiness. Enlightenment. Friends are suspicious.
23) Locked in bathroom by friends. Hallucinations of man with donkey. Vow to switch to decaf.