It just occurred to me to write an email to a friend. I have known her for awhile and I like her (platonically) quite a bit. Unfortunately, we've drifted apart a bit. I wanted to write to her; I've always have had a hard time talking to her an intimate level, though she is quite intelligent and sensitive.
I was hoping to maybe do one of these:
Hey M.
How are you? I just want to drop a line to say hi.
Yeah. Nice and easy-peasy.
And totally not going to work. At least, it's not what I want to communicate to her.
What do I want to say?
1) I care.
2) I think she is great.
3) She can call on me for things.
What I really what to do is to craft one of those tight 800 word emails I used to write to friends. It had quotes, lines of original poetry, little vignettes, observations, rough explanation of philosophical concepts, the whole she-bang.
Except I was either skipping classes or unemployed when I wrote those. Thinking about now, I usually spend about 2 hours on the actual composition of the email. Editing was another hour. Research for those pithy little quotes would be another hour. Then, there are the hours I daydream about what should be in the email, what I should say, why do I want to say it, what am I trying to say, what hidden message am I saying.
I estimate that I probably spend 8-10 hours every time I write one of those things. And they were brutal 8-10 hours because of the way my mind work, they were 8-10 hours I could not concentrate on anything else. The email takes over all the process time of my thoughts. Everything else is reduced to whispers on the fringe of my consciousness.
The reality is that I couldn't do those things anymore. Maybe I'll ask her out for dinner or something.
Hey M,
How's it going? Busy Tuesday? Want to go have pho with me? Call me.
You thing she will say "YES"?
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